Sunday, October 4, 2009

Attack of the Rebirth Masque Zombies

For only $2.98 you too can look like an insanely happy zombie (check out those weird eyes!) - while appearing to pull off your own facial skin. Excellent.

This is the sort of amazing bargain that you can find in the wacky world of Old Farmer's Almanac ads (this is from the 1971 edition). Just what those Old Farmers wanted, I am sure. They set a right big store by looking smooth and fresh-faced.

Of course it isn't really your skin that's being lifted off. It's a peel-off masque. Or rather a "peel"- off masque. Note the creepy quotation marks.

And why assure us that it is "Safe. Painless." You know you weren't even thinking that a face masque was going to be painful or unsafe, until they brought the whole thing up, right?

The ad on the right is from 1973. Equally scary lady, working from the chin up this time."You'll smile and the world will smile back." Oh, that they will. They will be too frightened not to!

The American Image Corporation was the mastermind behind the army of reborn face-peel zombies. They also made something called the Sauna Trim Belt (also distressing). We'll have a look at that another time. There's just so much one can take of this at once, you know.

12 comments:

Susanne Saville said...

Love that line - you too can look like a zombie peeling off your own facial skin - LOL!

Tori Lennox said...

I bet that zombie woman in the first ad hasn't even seen an episode of Green Acres let alone lived on a farm.

Amy said...

wow I bet once she's a zombie she wont' age at all, no wonder she wont' need a facelift

Georgina said...

I wanted all my readers at DSW to meet you, so I've given you another award! - G
www.dadssecondwhatever.blogspot.com

Lidian said...

Susanne - It's an unusual product, isn't it?

Amy - Yeah, you use this once and that's all you need!

Gerogina - Oh, thank you so much :)

Shay said...

Gross. Just....gross.

JD at I Do Things said...

I wanna see the "complexion problems" that she peeled off. For this ad to be effective, I need to see actual blackheads and pimples stuck to the peeled-off mask like flies on flypaper. Then I might actually buy it.

Lidian said...

Shay - Yeah, it is.

JD - I would like to see that, too. Possibly.

The Crazy Suburban Mom said...

Oh my, my mother had this kind of thing. You put it on, it was sort of a dippity-do gel looking stuff, k? With like a brush applicator - like a glue brush. Than it dried all scary and you seriously peeled it off...I mean...how good could this have been for you?

It dried like, um, sticky plastic.

Lidian said...

Tracy - It could not have been very good at all. It sounds like Dippity Do!

Lidian said...

Tracy - Oh yeah, YOU said it was like Dippity Do - sorry, I am really tired I guess! ;)

Marcheline said...

I used to have this stuff! It was exactly like Dippity-Do, and it made your face feel like the inside of a freezer as it dried... brrrrrr! It peeled off in one piece, except if you got it in your eyebrows - then it just sort of stuck there. Luckily it dissolved with hot water.