Thursday, October 29, 2009

The Weeny Witch Monarchy

This is just what the youngsters always wanted: to eat a witch made out of a hot dog. Therefore, your kids will be "kings and queens of the neighborhood" if you serve this to their friends. Granted, a hot dog is not generally interpreted as a mandate to rule, but perhaps the neighborhood does not know this.

What this really means is that YOU will be the acting Queen of the neighborhood, since your children will be too young to assume their royal duties. OK, now we're talking! Bring on the weeny witches.

Now, after you have made the children eat weeny witches, and grabbed control of the monarchy, you can enter the "Make the Baby Talk Contest"* (that's at the bottom of the ad). After all, you are the Queen, right? So the baby must have something to say about this. What will you make the baby say? How about:

- No, Your Highness, I will not throw my strained peas on the floor any more.

- Why certainly, I would love to sit in the playpen. Perhaps you could hand me a few magazines through the bars. If you would be so very kind. Or perhaps one of the courtiers could do this [hint: that would be the cats].

-Those Weeny Witches were an inspired idea, Your Highness! I simply cannot wait to see what delights you have in store for the Christmas season.

[From Life, October 26, 1953.]

* This referred to putting a cutesy caption on a baby photo, actually.

13 comments:

Tori Lennox said...

You'd think those weenies would be kind of hard to eat what with the witch's hat and dress on them...

Me-Me King said...

It's a Halloweenie Fest! Bruhahahaha!

P.L. Frederick said...

I concur with Tori: I taste lawsuit.

Lidian said...

Tori - Perhaps that's sort of a fiber source?

Me-Me - Of course! lol

P.L. - Oh, yum, a lawsuit. Tasty!

Staci said...

I can't believe that I'm saying this, but Weenie Witches aren't that bad of an idea, especially if you have a picky eater. My nephew is 9, and he still won't eat any meat that's not chicken or turkey related. Granted, he'd be more likely to play with a Weenie Witch than eat it, but at least he'd pick it up. That's an improvement.

The Bewildered Brit said...

What a wonderful idea! I'm off to the supermarket to stick pointy hats on the Wieners!

Lidian said...

Staci - It's a start, absolutely!

Richard - They will look quite fetching, I'm sure. Don't forget little faces, too. The supermarket people will be enchanted!

Bill said...

I guess things haven't changed very much. The Make the Baby Talk Contest is now known as the LOLcats website.

I know I'm slow, but I am just 'not getting' these daggone Weeny Witches. Am I really supposed to dress a frankfurter? Does it then go on a tiny raft made of other frankfurters? To what end? Do I give these out on Halloween? What if I can't dress them fast enough?
I'm just keeping the porch light off and sitting in the back of the house with the lights off. To hell with it.

Lidian said...

Bill - I am pretty sure that is a raft. I don't know why the Weeny Witch needs marine transport, unless she will be escaping the kitchen and has to portage a punch bowl or two.

Georgina said...

It looks like someone punched that weenie in the eyes. Or he's drunk or toked up. - G

heidi said...

this is so wrong, it's right. it had me laughing for quite a spell. and now i am damn determined to outfit a weenie in a teenie weeny witch hat. thanks for that!

Lidian said...

heidi - That sounds like fun! ;)

Jessica Cangiano said...

You have to love vintage food ads. They were (often) so over-the-top, so absurd, so odd that they ended up being kind of adorable in their own special way. The one in this fun post is just such an example.


Wishing you a marvelous Monday!
♥ Jessica