Wednesday, December 30, 2009

You Say You Want A Resolution

Yessiree! It's time to put down that mince pie and start thinking about Moo Year's resolutions. I mean, New Year's resolutions. Elsie the Cow will be delighted to help you. She has a few suggestions:

1. No more eating mince pies while perching on a ladder, sonny! You are supposed to be dealing with the Christmas tree. I'm not sure if it's being decorated or decimated, maybe both, but either way, it's no time for snacks.

2. No more jolly chats with imaginary cows, even if you are Elwood P. Dowd's farmer cousin. And when you meet Elmer, Elsie's rageball husband, you will see why this is such a good idea. You really don't want to get into anything with Elmer, believe me.

3. Oh, and maybe you ought to think about a No Silly Suspenders resolution, too. And No White Socks With Black Shoes. And as for those pants...

[pause]

Yes, all right. That was lightly amusing. (The Elsie ad is from Life, November 22, 1943, by the way.) But what about real resolutions?

Oh, I have some of those. I'll bet you do, too. Here are just a few of mine:

1. Say, remember NaNoWriMo back in November, says I to myself? Try and think a-l-l-l-l-l-l the way back to November...oh yeah! Mystery novel, Brooklyn, 1890s, Eleanor Grey, Intrepid Girl Detective? Called Frozen Charlotte. (Not Frozen Eleanor, of course, how could she solve a murder mystery if she was frozen?)

How about writing that second draft. Because it really needs some work. Yessiree! A lot of work. A terrible, awful lot of-

2. ...Work! Got it.

Moving on. Literally. Because! Got a pedometer for Christmas, to replace the one I lost because it fell off when I was running and it sort of flipped off and by the time I noticed it was too late. Start using the pedometer again. Yes, now. Now! Now!

...Well, not right now, I am writing this. But you know what I mean.

3. Healthy eating, blah blah blah. Not mince pies, obviously. Good thing I don't even like mince pies.

4. There are probably some other things but I forget what they are. They go here. I think they have to do with managing stress, but can't really remember. Too stressed, probably.

So there you go...And now if you go over to Nanny Goats In Panties (which is such a terrific, funny blog, you really should pay a visit even if you don't have any resolutions) - you can join the This Time I Really Mean It challenge.

Please do tell, what are you going to promise to do (or not do) in 2010?  At this point, you know, we're just making the resolutions, we don't have to actually do anything yet, so it will be fun! And just to get in the mood, we can listen a live version of John Lennon's yes-I-do/no-I-don't homage to change, Revolution. Notice how he sings "you can count me out" and then says "in." I think we all know just what he means.

15 comments:

The Crazy Suburban Mom said...

That was hysterical... you say you want a resolution!

youre a genius you know???

Tori Lennox said...

My only resolution is to not make any other resolutions.

Georgina said...

Rezo # 1: Look up the term "None Such" on wiki. What is that, vegetarian or something?

Rezo # 2: Don't let people know that I have to look up big words using wiki.(ie; none such)

Joanna Jenkins said...

Stopping over from Nanny Goats In Panties to wish you a happy new year.

This is a very funny post! I love your sense of humor.

Happy 2010

Lidian said...

Tracy - I am hanging my head modestly at your kind words, and trying not to thereby hit the keyboard (not a clever move by anyone's standards)...

Tori - That is an excellent resolution. It is the one I really ought to make every year! ;)

Georgina - I wouldn't know None Such if it jumped on the desk and started juggling Tic Tac boxes and notecards...I would be impressed though.

Joanna - Thank you! Am about to start visiting some of the fab NGIP links, you first though :)

Keith said...

Happy New Year! I hope you've been having a great holiday season. Mine has been wonderful except for my cable modem dying on me. I just did a new post with a big announcement in it. I hope you'll check it out. Thanks. Take care. Have a fantastic holiday weekend. Cheers!

Laane said...

I came here to wish you a very happy new year.
I hope some of your dreams come true.
:)

mike said...

Well now you've got me thinking about mince pies, and I don't think I've ever had one!

Happy New Year!

Hairball T. Hairball said...

Happy New Year, Lidian!! Whoot!!

I loved Elsie when I was a kid. I remember staring at her picture on the milk carton.

Elsie's Facebook page.

wngl said...

Writing is what 2010 portends, and loads of it; I also resolve to read your blog(s) daily, Lidian, as they are such a source of joy, laughs, and inspiration. I hope you won't hate me if I slip and eat mince pie perched on the ladder again, I really can't help myself!

P.L. Frederick said...

Stopped by to wish you a wonderful 2010! A joyful new year to you and yours.

P.L. Frederick (Small & Big)

Eric said...

Does anyone else think that a cow discussing pies seems gross?

Lidian said...

Keith - I am going to go check your new post right away! Sorry about the modem problems, that sounds very annoying. But still, Happy New Year!

Laane - Happy New Year to you too! :)

mike - Well, they are an acquired taste, I think. If you like plum pudding you will probably like mince pies.

Hairball - Same to you, my friend! We have some foil-wrapped chocolates in a bowl and its like a 40-something Bacchanalia!

wngl - I am glad I discovered your blog in '09, and I mean to comment more to you and lots of other amazing writers in the New Year. Nuts, that's another resolution I forgot to put on the list up there!
All the best to you in '10!

P.L. - A very Happy New Year to you too!

Eric - Um...yeah, actually, you are right (stops and thinks) - That IS gross! Am not going to write down any of the horrible jokes that are dancing, like terrible snowflakes, through my brain.

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

Ah yes, one more day left of not having to nag myself to rewrite my novel. But tomorrow we start kicking ourselves all year! By the way, kudos to you for whipping out that draft at NaNoWriMo!

Lidian said...

Margaret - Yep, the kicking is going to start first thing tomorrow morning!