Wednesday, January 13, 2010

A Snapped Crackled Pop

Let's just take this ad one bit at a time. That is about all anyone can handle, I think.

1. She was a wise one, my mother. She'd never said boo to dad in the morning...

No one wants anyone else to say "BOO!" to them in the morning, so I guess I'm with the dad on that point. But surely, refraining from saying boo to people is not evidence of superior wisdom. Mother, you will have to do better than that if you want to join Mensa.

2. ...until Kellogg's Rice Krispies told him off when he poured on milk or cream.

So it is OK for the cereal to say boo? And not only say boo, but actually tell him off? Folks, cereal doesn't generally have anything to say in the morning. Or any time. Blame grumpiness - or the fact that it's an inanimate foodstuff, but crunching and crackling just isn't a conversational gambit.

3. Dad's growl always changed to a grin as these scamps chattered up at him.

And speaking of grumpiness: Dad has got a little anger-management problem (like many guys in old ads). Either that, or he is in actual fact a bear, and this is his natural way of verbalizing. Goldilocks had better stick to porridge and not try to grab dad's Rice Krispies. They may be delicious, but growling usually means stay well back. Ask David Attenborough or that Mutual of Omaha guy from the 60s.

4. "Snap! Crackle! Pop!" they'd scold. "Laugh! Chuckle! Laugh!" he'd answer.

First he growls. Everyone is scared. Then he starts interacting with the cereal, ordering it to laugh and chuckle? Oh boy, that is even worse. Everyone clear out, dad's getting loopy with the cereal again.*

5. Then mother would let us all talk.

But strangely enough, we were all speechless by now.

Want the terrifyingly big version of this 1954 cereal incentive? Right here!

*This is why mother has hidden the Fruit Loops, probably.


Bill said...

Somehow, I doubt that Dad is truly mean-spirited & grumpy. I think he's just very, very simple and becomes frustrated easily when people (or cereal) use multi-syllabic words.

Barbara said...

No one speaks to dad until his Rice Krispies speak to him? There's some psychotic behavior there - and mom's a classic enabler.

What happens when the Rice Krispies run out? Dad swings into a rage and beats mom and the kids? Talk about living in terror!!

No one moves until the Rice Krispies have spoken!!!

Eric said...

Just once, I'd like my food to carry on an honest to gosh conversation with me. I mean, why do 1950's guys get all the luck?

Lidian said...

Bill - That's a distinct possibility.

Barbara - It really does have that sinister kind of undertone, doesn't it. A weird subtext that I am sure was not intentional.

Eric - They certainly were lucky; and the 50s gals had the odd mascots of cleaning products talking to them. It would be nice if the dish soap said 'yeah, so what did you think of the last dramatization of Bleak House' or even 'boy, you sure can scrub a pot!'

Tori Lennox said...

I just had this horrible vision of that rice mold chicken suddenly talking in the middle of dinner.....

The Lucy and Dick Show said...

Weren't those single serving boxes special? We always felt so exotic when mom allowed to buy those single serving sizes!

RNSANE said...

I never really was into Rice Krispies but they certainly had a gimmick!

Relax Max said...

Crackle is of the devil. Don't make eye contact. Don't even look at his picture on the box.

Richard @ The Bewildered Brit said...

To be fair, that's about the level I'm up to at that time of day!

Leeuna said...

That's probably what started all those "cereal" killings. Bwahaha... Okay, I'm leaving now. {{turns and slithers away }}

Lidian said...

Tori - I wonder what it would say?

The Lucy and Dick Show - Oh yeah, I loved them! Especially when I was allowed to pour the milk into the little box. What a mess, though.

RNSANE - They sure did, and they never let anyone forget it.

Max - Yes, you can see how it has affected the ad dad already.

Richard - Coffee works better though, as far as reducing grumpiness, I find.

Leeuna - LOL! It had to be said!

Marcheline said...

Um... pour on milk OR CREAM? No wonder Dad's grumpy - he's 600 pounds and can't wedge his way into the kitchen for his morning conversation with cereal!