Sunday, January 10, 2010

Under Hormel Conditions

What is that sizzling sound I hear?
Get up! It's Spam and eggs, my dear.

Get up and face a monstrous fate,
This ruthless Spam-filled china plate

Which hovers right above the bed
And aims directly at my head.

I do not like Spam in my face
I do not like it any place;

I do not like the parsley there
Nor plastic eggs that seem to stare

Unblinkingly at gentlemen
Awakened at Not Yet a.m.

Yes, frightening is that smile so bright
Appalling in its grand delight

She from the kitchen daily springs
With plates of mottled oblong things

He vows to hold his head and neck fast
Concealing them from such a breakfast:

Please go, and take your ersatz ham:
I do not like fried eggs and Spam.

[From Vintage Ad Browser.]


Tori Lennox said...

Why is the wife wearing an evening gown?

Petra said...

That's a very interesting ad! You know why? I'm from Germany and I'm doing some research in Food History and I didn't know that there was something similar like Toast Hawaii (that's the toast with cheese and spam on the pic) existing before 1950. Do you know if the Ad was from the 1940s? I think so. Toast Hawaii has also pineapple but it looks so similar. I love your style of writing by the way.

JD at I Do Things said...

"I do not like Spam in my face
I do not like it any place"

Sing it, sister.

Richard @ The Bewildered Brit said...

I have no idea why, but the word "Hormel" scares me slightly! It sounds like it should be some monster from the dim and distant past to me!

@Tori -- I think the question is "Why is the husband only getting up in the evening? Doesn't he have work to go to?" :D

Anonymous said...

I love this post written in the same catchy-paced clip as Green Eggs and Ham. But I bet Sam I Am never had parsley garnishing his plate of green eggs and ham. What a good little wifey she is! - G

heidi said...

I'm just wondering where else one might put the spam, besides their face.

Anonymous said...

I like spam with poached eggs and a side of English muffins. And I make no apology for it. Thbbft

The Crazy Suburban Mom said...

LOL, I love those ads! The food looks so darned odd and it makes me wonder what the ad people were thinking! Why, why would they say - THIS will make them buy it!

Dont get it, dont get it at all!

The Exaggerator said...

Would this remind you, perchance, of the movie Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House--in particular the account the title character was assigned to (as in "Wham," a Spam parody of sorts)?

(There seems to be a slogan in this somewhere; however, good taste and decency prevents its display.)

Lidian said...

Tori - Maybe he's on the night shift and this is 7 pm?

Petra - I agree with you, judging from the lady's hair this is either a 30s or early 40s ad. The Vintage Ad Browser site didn't specify but if I can find out I'll let you know. Toast Hawaii sounds (and looks) a little disturbing!

JD - I do, and I will. Always!

Richard - The Hormel folks are still around and have a very happy-snappy site. Perhaps this couple is trying to emulate the F. Scott Fitzgeralds and he has spent the night carousing in bistros and doing the jitterbug in the fountains of Paris.

Or - perhaps he is just lazy.

Georgina - Sam I Am would be appalled, he would turn into Sam I Won't.

heidi - Oh goodness me, whatever do you mean? ;)

Grace - Good for you, why should you? Hurrah for all points of view!

Tracy - It is endlessly puzzling.

The Exaggerator - Yes, I'm sure they were making fun of Spam. I really like James Stewart but haven't seen this one, I will put it on my movie list.

Elise said...

I wonder what the fate of the parsley was. I assume the trash can. I don't think this family would know a vegetable if it fell over it. Of course, I'd probably have the same habits back then...

Barbara said...

My Lord Lidian - you've NEVER seen Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House? That's like a pre-requisite for any vintage lover!! You'll love it.

If it isn't Spam, it isn't Ham!!

C. Dianne Zweig said...

Hi...visiting your blog i should add that spam add to the site that i am editor of ....when all the spammers come aboard could be a funny way to tell them no spam....thanks for the retro ad.

Come visit....

by the way I added you to my blog roll...hope you will also add me...


Janiss said...

Oh, I cannot resist posting the YouTube link of the Monty Python's Flying Circus Spam skit.

Needless To Say said...

'Mottled oblong things' made me smile for a long time.

Lidian said...

Elise - I think you're right. Parsley always looks sad to me!

Barbara - I know, I know, lol! It's a difficult thing to admit...

Dianne - I did add you! I just have only 5 sites showing on the blogrolls, so that the site will load faster.

Janiss - A classic! Thank you.

Needless To Say - Mottled is not what one wants in edibles.

Lidian said...

Dianne - Oh nuts, I did add you and others too but Blogger didn't seem to save it! Will add you today.

Barbara said...

How do I add blog rolls to my site??