Monday, February 22, 2010

Dobbs' Loud Hat

Suburban Zeppo, he's gone too far
He's just a turkey in a big pink car;
His suit is shiny, the wheels slide
Suburban 30s guy is going for a ride

But his old tweed suit is too demure -
A Gamebird hat from Dobbs is thus de rigeur
Splish splash, field and streamwards he will dash
The economy of fashion
Is an unforgiving passion -

Dobbs Loud Hat is a Town and Country steal
You will buy, you will buy, you will surely buy
Dobbs Loud Hat comes in Mallard, Grouse and Teal
Don't ask why, don't ask why, just go out and buy

In Newmarket
And Hopatcong
They all know that it won't be long
He counts his pennies
As he had oughter
And draws fedoras on his nice desk blotter -

The Dobbs are ready, they're in the store
They're $7.50, why not buy three or four?
Or special order them, you'll look so fierce!
The Dobbs Hat will fit over your ears.

Dobbs Loud Hat makes a man look really silly
But he'll buy, don't ask why, it's no use to try
Add a yellow Ascot, the excuse is being chilly,
And he'll buy, by and by, ads would never lie...

[From Life, November 6, 1939; am also making fun of "King's Lead Hat" by Brian Eno, from the album Before and After Science (1977) - an old college favorite of mine. I didn't parody the whole thing because I didn't want to test anyone's patience too much!]

6 comments:

Eric said...

So... it's a hunting hat?

vanilla said...

My Dad always wore a fedora, but always grey or grouse, never mallard or teal.

And when in his 80s at the Dobbs store he saw the price was now in the 80s too, he vowed he couldn't afford a new hat.

But of course he coulda shoulda.
Woulda if he hadn't been too stingy with himself. (Always generous with others, though.)

Richard @ The Bewildered Brit said...

Well you've convinced me! I'm going to buy at least four! :)

Relax Max said...

That's pretty classy.

Lidian said...

Eric - It sounds like it, but it doesn't look like one. It is confusing.

vanilla - So did mine, but not in any groovy colors.

Richard - Make sure they come right down to your ears!

Max - Isn't it just?

Marcheline said...

Dobbs is a great fedora company. What a price! Can't touch one for less than $50 now, unless you get really lucky on ebay.

Still confused about why you keep calling it "loud", tho. My eyes aren't good enough to catch the fine print on the ad, does it say "loud" in there???