Tuesday, February 9, 2010

They Call Them the Diamond Doorknobs

Winning a diamond doorknob would be good. It being attached to an entire retro ranch house is better still. Three bedrooms, two baths. A "dream kitchen." Also a pool, and a car. Although the pool does look a little shoddy (you can see it on the big version, link at the end).

Now the doorknob, I must tell you, is not fashioned (as I had hoped) from a single Koh-i-Noor sized diamond, which is disappointing. It has a little diamond in the middle, though. That's something.

Just in case they invent a time machine, and we can travel back to June 1960 and enter the Dr. Pepper contest (which was to celebrate 75 years of Dr. Pepper, hence the diamond theme) - we'd better be ready. All we have to do is say in 25 words or less why we want all this stuff.

"I want Dr. Pepper's Diamond Jubilee Doorknob because..."

1. "...because I don't want a fishing rod or a piano or any of your other prizes."
2. "...because I want to take the diamond out and get it reset in a pendant necklace."
3. "...because I've drunk about six thousand Dr. Peppers and I deserve it."
4. "...because I am the most fabulous person I know and this would make a perfect present for me!"

Good thing we can't time travel yet. This may be harder than it seemed at first.

And here's another, totally unrelated thing: every time I thought about this post, I also thought of David Bowie's 1974 glam rock anthem "Diamond Dogs." Which is completely incongruous (so naturally this appealed to me). Culture clash right this way: imagine Ziggy Stardust in a place like this! Although he could possibly win this thing by offering to rewrite the song in honor of the contest: "They call them the Diamond Doorknobs..." [The big version is here; the ad is from Life, June 27, 1960.]


wngl said...

Any excuse to show a Ziggy video works for me. For all we know, Bowie was a Dr Pepper junkie.

"I want Dr. Pepper's Diamond Jubilee Doorknob because..."

it will pay my way through college!


Barbara said...

I wish there were a way to find out who won these prizes and see the glamour house for ourselves!!

ManOverBoard.com said...

Wow celebrating their 75th year back in 1960, bit is timing running wild or what? Perfect ending to a fun post. Bowie is my man, and hope that someday soon, he will announce another tour.

Tori Lennox said...

I hope that's not the doorknob for the front door because if it's got a diamond in the middle of it, that means there's no keyhole! Surely some people locked their doors in 1960. I bet Ziggy kept his door locked!

Waterrose said...

I just found your blog...wonderful stuff...and so much fun!

vanilla said...

Gosh, I won this contest, just like I did every other contest in the '60s: by not entering, thus saving time and postage!

Eric said...

I want the whole door made out of diamond. Wait a minute, then people could see into my house.

Lidian said...

James - I always use any excuse to post Ziggy videos!

Barbara - I was thinking that, too - I want to know who won!

ManOverBoard - I had no idea Dr. Pepper was as old as that, either.

Tori - I wonder which door it was on, you're right, the front door makes no sense (unless it was the inside bit). Ziggy didn't care what his doors looked like (or the Doors, either) -

Waterose - Thank you, and welcome!

vanilla - This is just what I do, too!

Eric - But at least you could throw stones, if you wanted. Although I can't really see the fun in that...

Kath Lockett said...

We Aussies have resisted Dr Pepper. It was launched back in the late 1980s but died a slow death.

If volume drunk is a way to win, then surely Forrest Gump would be up there?

Mr. Stupid said...

A diamond knob. That will attract many people. Maybe your house will be a tourist spot.
Charging folks to look at a door knob. Hilarious!

Wonderful post, have a good day!:)

prashant said...

I wish there were a way to find out who won these prizes and see the glamour house for ourselves!!

Work from home India

Grampys World said...

I think even in 1960 The door knob would disappear fast.

The Crazy Suburban Mom said...

I want to know what won :)

Lidian said...

Kath - I resist it, too ;)

Mr S - But the diamond is so little, I don't think anyone would see it!

prashant - I want to know who won also.

vanilla - Yes, I agree, you'd have to have it on the inside.

Tracy - I want to know,too!