Sunday, February 7, 2010

The Wand of Enamelon

Oh, go ahead, Zelda. Pay more. Just a little more! Think what you'll get:

1. Pay more for lipstick that doesn't look like poster paint.

2. Pay more for an orange crayon to write the tagline with (it'll save on your lipstick bills, in the end).

3. Pay more for a better photographer. One who can retouch a photo without making you look disturbingly clownish.

4. While we're at it,  how about paying more for the makeup artist? The black eye makeup with the orange lipstick and nail polish is good if you're a Jack-o-lantern, maybe. Otherwise, you might want to rethink it.

5. Pay more for someone to advise you not to pose like that. It's really off-putting. And to advise you to look a little happier. How could one not be happy? For Cutex is cheap and has the wonder ingredient Enamelon (which is also a strange science fiction otherworld, and something they coat skillets with*). And not only that, but it is "chip-pruf."

6. Speaking of which - why not pay more for a proofreader. Or even a pruf-reader, for that matter.

[Life, November 8, 1954, big version here, if you must.]

*I am kidding. But it could be. And I got the title from looking over here (that is why I'm calling this gal Zelda, in a desperate attempt to tie everything together).

Next time I am going to tell you how we can all win a diamond doorknob (because this is just what every household needs).


Amanda said...

Remind me not to wear cutex nail polish. It turns you into Vampira

Anonymous said...

Wow, I wouldn't want to meet her in a dark alley! Those nails look razor sharp! - G

Richard @ The Bewildered Brit said...

Too. Much. Orange. :)

Tori Lennox said...

Yikes! She is one scary-looking chick!

TheWordWire said...

Zelda has claws like Godzilla. If Godzilla would be caught dead in orange Cutex, that is. Funny post!

Amy said...

well at least they got the orange matching up with the rest of her lol

Lidian said...

Amanda - That it does. Apparently.

Georgina - She is scary.

Richard - Yes, even Tang enthusiasts (of the future, since this is the 50s) would be aghast.

Tori - I don't know why they thought she was going to sell the Cutex.

TheWordWire - Yes, she can take care of herself in an adverse situation.

Amy - She does match, and she wants us all to see, too! lol

wngl said...

Keep her away from your children!

And to echo Richard: too much orange, it doesn't go well with the pale blue complexion, dear. Not to say you aren't welcome on planet Earth, but you may have to spend some time in solitary confinement.

Mr. Stupid said...

Zelda looks really scary. Nightmares... aaaaa!
I wonder why her ear rings are not Orange. Looks like she's wearing them.
Have a good day...:)

The Crazy Suburban Mom said...

Looks like a poster from Rocky Horror Picture show :O)

Lidian said...

James - Solitary is not a bad idea, considering the look of those orange claws.

Mr S - An oversight, I would think.

Tracy - The retro version!

FreshHell said...

Well, NOW I know what happened to Baby Jane.

Bill said...

Zelda holds her hands like that because inexpensive Cutex polish also contains Nev-R-Dri.

prashant said...

! She is one scary-looking chick!

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