Friday, March 26, 2010

The Grateful Sted Head

Well, up in Canada they know
How to make evil dandruff go;
On falling hair they have a ban
From St. John's to Saskachewan
And way out west in far Vancouver
A guy can make some smooth manoeuvre
Without the fear that his toupee
Might fly off to Yellowknife someday.

These lucky old Canadian guys
Have some strange potion or device
That gives them confidence and hair
On heads that once were tundra-bare.
All hail American Sted Pitt
Who though down south, got wind of it!
His friends thank him both night and day
For lovely locks that came to stay.
They do not mind a tumbled bedhead,
Better than baldness is a Sted head.

So steady on, American men
Luxuriant hair will grow again;
Just take that dollar you've been savin'
And send it to Sted Pitt in New Haven.
What is Sted's method, you may ask?
Let's summarize this simple task:
Just cut a hole in a dollar bill
And stick it on your head at will
No one will notice that you're bald -

That's not the first thing you'll be called.

[This 1931 advertisement is from Modern Mechanix, which is a cornucopia of wonders...]


The Crazy Suburban Mom said...

Honey I cant stop laughing long enough from that pic to either read the ad or your commentary. Im sorry. Im so so sorry and it looks like it took forever too. But I must hit the X and stop looking or Im going to pee myself

vanilla said...

At the drugstore buy
a bar of shaving soap apply
it liberally to your hair
and drag your razor through, right there.
Several strokes it will require
but don't let patience expire.
For when you're finished, you see
no longer bothered will you be
with either dandruff or falling hair.
This recipe is free, Sted Pitt,
no thanks to thee.

Wish I could write verse like Lidian.
Her posts almost make me giddy and
I surely enjoy her wit
Each day I take a dose of it.

Tori Lennox said...

I thought that gizmo he had on his head was CATCHING the dandruff and falling hair. Guess not.

Barbara said...

How in the world did these ads sell anything???

Bill said...

You really do have to study that illustration to see that the gizmo on his head is supposed to be a dollar bill. I was disappointed when I realized that it wasn't a magic hat.

heidi said...

so, um, was this the original 'money shot?'

Michelle said...

Thank you so very much for your comment for our beloved Coco - it means so much - Really!

Lidian said...

Tracy - It IS a great picture, isn't it?

vanilla - You are brilliant! I love your poetry :)

Tori - Maybe is does do that, who knows?

Barbara - I always wonder about that, too.

Bill - I am hoping that it really is a magic hat, but I think it is just a dollar bill. Sted will not like that there's a hole cut out of it, though.

heidi - Probably! lol

Michelle - Thinking of you xx