Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Ivanhoe the Terrible

No one knows what men like more than an animated teaspoon, right? Meet Mr. T. Spoon, who seems to be a chef along the lines of the mustard-obsessed Hot Dan. You remember Hot Dan. He is frantically jolly and adds dollops of hot mustard to whatever dish he happens upon. Could be dessert, could be a sandwich. You never know with Hot Dan.

If it would help Ivanhoe, I would suggest that Hot Dan be called in to form a cartoon culinary think tank with Mr.T. Spoon. But nothing can help this stuff. No, no. And neither men nor women can approve. Seriously, Mr. T., why do you suppose that men are going to like this? Because it comes out of a jar? Because it is easy to serve and easy to throw away after? Because men like macaroni? Why?

Now, women do not like Ivanhoe Macaroni Salad, from the get go. That is because - well, it is gross. I mean, look at it.

Macaroni can only - as far as I know - be boiled. Not "deliciously cooked." And there is mayonnaise involved. And it comes in a jar. And it is "wonderful by itself." Which means it will be most wonderful if you leave it by itself in the grocery store.

And as for the Redi-Salad and the Teaspoon Onions - no, please, no. Nothing that begins with Redi ever came to any good.* And as for your little onions - please, Mr. T., keep those to yourself.

A thousand teaspoons of thanks to TJS Labs for this classic from 1947.

*I know, Reddi-Whip might be all right, sometimes. Possibly. As long as you don't go overboard like Sally (click on the link for her disturbing little story).


Rachael said...

I think the most alarming part is the jar. I could maybe understand a tub in the refrigerated section, but I'm imagining a warm jar on a shelf, and I'm not liking what I'm seeing. Yech.

Barbara said...

I'm not so concerned with the warm jar on the shelf (heck, mayo is a warm jar on a shelf), I'm more concerned what the consistency of the macaroni would be after stewing in mayo, going thru the preserving process, getting packaged, loaded and delivered. I'm sure it had the consistency of Cream of Wheat, not that there's anything wrong with that...

I want so badly to grab that spoon man and rap him against a table.

Kath Lockett said...

I love the way you write, Lidian!

Maybe the hint is with the intricately drawn (must have taken the advertising cartoonist days, no - weeks to do) is that he's called Mr T Spoon: any more than that per serve and you'll puke.

Tori Lennox said...

I keep seeing the spoon with a mohawk and lots of gold chains around its neck.....

Lidian said...

Rachael - Yes, macaroni should never be in a JAR, ugh.

Barbara - I know, can you imagine? I don't think this product had a huge amount of success.

Tori - I was thinking that too! lol

Marcheline said...

Dunno about the rest of you, but it's the lower part of the handle on rapper T-Spoon that has my eyebrows doing the tango... a bit disturbing, non? I mean, it's so large it's given him bow-legs! Somebody ought to turn him on to those aluminum leg braces and active support undies!