Tuesday, March 9, 2010

The Lap Of Efficiency

 A little business advice comes to you this morning from this delightfully informative, English, 1950s desk chair ad. It is packed with useful pointers about how to get ahead on the job.

As all executives know, and too often ignore, hustle and bustle is not a true indication of efficiency.

So you might as well lean back in a comfy chair. Stop running around the room like a squirrel hunting for those acorns he buried last fall. Just sit down already! 

Creative alertness is so important in these highly competitive days when so many of us in the nature of things, must "take it sitting down."

Now that is profound. Poetic, almost. Or maybe like something out of "Death of a Salesman." So many of us in the nature of things must take it sitting down. The great ineffable IT. The Tan-Sad Posture Chair is like - like the Arthur Miller of office furniture!

But why is it Tan? Why is it Sad? Perhaps it does not like being tan. It wanted to be red like a fire engine. Or perhaps it senses that you dislike your job. And it may be disappointed in your lack of efficiency. Or maybe it had aspirations beyond those of being a Posture Chair and itself feels like a cog in the wheel (here comes the meta-chair* part!). It really wanted to be an Executive Desk. And it hates people sitting in its lap. That would make it Sad.

It ought not to be sad, though, for it is the Lap of Efficiency. When you sit on the Tan-Sad's lap you will become successful and efficient and have "an orderly mind." Although it is a bit of an odd concept, Chair As Lap. I am not sure how efficient anyone is when sitting on a lap, really.

*Or meta-fiction.  Meta-something, anyway.

[Thanks so much to Vintage Ads for this British ad from 1959.]


vanilla said...

Looks comfy enough that one could just sit and dream his career away.

heidi said...

I must say, my only efficiency is relaxing. I need, need, need this chair!

Barbara said...

"Take it sitting down"?? Isn't that like the baby way of doing it? Stand up and take it dammit!!

Chair as lap. Damn, you crack me up.

Lidian said...

vanilla - You know, it really does look like a Comfy Chair ("Nobody ever expects the Spanish Inquistion!" - I ought to have put that clip up, you know)

heidi - Me too! Then I can tell everyone how enterprising I've been, writing all day, when I've been really just relaxing ;)

Barbara - I thought you had to stand up too! Not at the Tan-Sad office, I guess. That must have been a fun place to work.

It occurs to me that I should have done this as haiku. I kept thinking of this as I went off to the dentist and then did other stuff. Sigh. Maybe some other time...

Tori Lennox said...

That chair looks pretty comfy, actually. But I'd have to put a pink slipcover on it. I don't like tan.

Eric said...

I'm *not* sleeping, I'm being creatively alert...

Bill said...

That chair looks like it's ready to pounce.
It reminds me of those spiders that make me nervous. The hairy ones with muscular front legs that like to jump at you.

Marcheline said...

What a great chair! They forgot to mention the secret beer can storage area in each arm rest!