Saturday, December 18, 2010

Hot Dan and the Eye of Sauron

Gallery of Graphic Design
We've had a peek at Sauron's bathroom, remember that, way back in the Kitchen Retro archives? Well, he's had his bath and now it is time for dinner.

And dinner has never needed Hot Dan's assistance more. Because Sauron is  getting so frustrated with the Orc chefs - all they ever make are goopy casseroles. And their gelatin molds? Full of little rocks and things. And this makes him very, very angry. Worse-than-Gordon-Ramsay-on-Hell's-Kitchen angry! And since he was already angry before dinner, that is not good.

In fact Sauron is so unhappy with his meals, he just throws everything on the floor and then destroys another army of elves. It makes you cranky when there's nothing good to eat (tell me about it).

Hot Dan to the rescue! Because he has made a Tasty Salmon Dish in the shape of Sauron's favorite logo -  with lashings of French's Hot Mustard! It will change the course of Lord of the Rings. Sauron was just mean because he was hungry, that's all. That happens.

Now, thanks to Hot Dan, Sauron will cheer up and stop being horrid to everyone. In fact, he will invite everyone in Middle Earth over for dessert and coffee pretty soon. Just tell Hot Dan to keep the mustard jar away from the Gâteau Mont Doom (just like Gâteau Mont Blanc, only you flambé it and there's a ring hidden inside).

[Many thanks to Gallery of Graphic Design for this wonderful 1941 ad, by the way.]


Petits Monts Blancs

9 comments:

Cari Hislop said...

It sounds like he'll be spending some quality time in his scary bathroom after he's eaten a jar of mustard mixed with salmon! Maybe that's what the lines are for...to help his big eye find the tub.

Marcheline said...

Egads... "eye of Sauron"!!!

HAHAHAHAAAARRRRGHH!

Eric said...

A few drizzled catsup lines down the 'white' of the eye, and you could call it a 'redeye'?

Bill said...

Oh, Sauron, I know! I get mean when I'm hungry, too.
But that dish you're about to eat looks mean, too, so do you think it's a smart choice? How about some soup and a grilled cheese sandwich instead? Think frenchwise, man, and eat something soothing.

Sarsaparilla said...

I like the way your mind works!
I'm still grinning over your Miss de Grinch poem.

You've been so prolific - I'm way behind on reading all your recent posts. Must catch up!

Katherine said...

I need to go watch the movie again!

alvi said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Lidian said...

Cari - Yes, the plot thickens!

Marcheline - I will try for something a little more - um, festive - in today's post (this is me on Monday morning, ugh).

Eric - Yes, you could - he'd probably love that.

Bill - That is a very good idea, I hope that Hot Dan looks into this.

Sarsaparilla - Thank you, that is so nice to hear when I'm sitting here going: oh lord, what AM I going to post about now?? (This is just what I am doing!)

Katherine - Me too!

P.L. Frederick said...

If Hot Dan's so hot why's he always hiding behind props? C'mon Dan. We wanna good look at you.

P.L. Frederick (Small & Big)