Wednesday, September 14, 2011

The Scrubbing Drudge Report

Popular Mechanics, Feb. 1911
What woman hasn't been eagerly waiting for the Scrubbing Machine?...[It] banishes forever woman's worst torture. Could anything be more appreciated, popular, irresistible?

No indeed. Why, it sounds like the perfect party guest. It will make friends with everyone, even the bores in the corner, and then it'll clean up all the spilled champagne and the piece of strawberry pie that Uncle Albert trod into the carpet.

So get up off the floor, ladies, and toss away your scrubbing rags. Because it's 1911 and the Home Comfort Scrubbing Machine is here. It looks like all you have to do is stand behind it and it will do all the work. And from looking at the Before and After pictures, it looks like it will also give you a complete makeover including liposuction, hair styling, makeup, a face lift and a spanking new wardrobe of shirtwaists, string ties and fancy skirts. No wonder they say it "works like magic."

Now once you've got the Machine, you can get a child to stand behind it (because even a child can clean with this gadget) while you go out and sell Home Comfort machines to other women. Or maybe you'd rather stay home and clean, because boy howdy, cleaning can be fun:

Self feeding, self cleaning, self sudsing. Turns scrubbing drudgery into neat, easy, quick, pleasant task.

And one excitable lady writes "it takes every woman by storm." Um, OK. If you say so. Every woman except the one in the ad. She looks a little bit jaded. Although maybe that's because she just saw Uncle Albert spill a pot of coffee on the linen tablecloth.


Kath Lockett said...

I like the idea of a household appliance providing a full body makeover though!

Cari Hislop said...

That's odd, I occasionally scrubbed my mother's kitchen floor on my hands and knees in the 80's and she never mentioned the existence of a magic floor vibrator. Probably because it sounds dirty.