Friday, October 28, 2011

Bill and the Magic Bottle

1941 ad, big version here
This is a little fairy tale about a man who was kind and generous enough to throw lots of parties for his friends. But his friends - well, they don't look like greedy ogres or wicked forest creatures. But their happy, friendly exteriors are false. They are fibbing when they say they liked Bill's party.

They just about manage to hold it in until Bill closes the door on their cheery cries of  "Thanks for the swell time, Bill!" They all love the word 'swell,' since it is 1941 and that was some cool talking back then. But they can hardly contain themselves, and instantly, large loud speech bubbles are flying in the air:

Bill sure tries hard to be a good host!

But I don't see how such a swell guy can serve such awful drinks.

Goodness, what do you think Bill can be serving them?  Tap water in jelly glasses? Beet juice cocktails? Canola oil on the rocks?

Then they think of even more snippy things to say once they get in the car:

Somebody should tell him what people like to drink these days.

Why doesn't he serve Virginia Dare wine...That's my idea of being sociable.

You've got to feel sorry for Bill. I don't see why such a swell guy has such shallow friends. Why doesn't he meet some folks who don't snipe about his beverage choices and, oh I don't know, like him for just being Bill - a swell guy. They could just all meet up in a bar, you know.

But then later that night, guess who drops in on Bill? Why, Virginia Dare herself - in a fancy costume and braids, the Good Fairy of Cheap Booze. And she thought she'd better show up with a hostess gift. A bottle of - oh, you know what she brought, right? 

And you also know what happens at Bill's next party. Those no-good smirking so-called friends of his are fawning over him and his get-togethers like nobody's business: oh yes, Bill's parties are "tops" now that he serves Virginia Dare. "And it's so inexpensive," the lady says in the last scene - with just a hint of condescension. Yeah, Bill is tops, but he's...oh dear, kind of cheap. Next time you drop in after hours, Miss Dare - don't forget to bring Bill some new friends, too, won't you?

Would you like another virtual glass of Virginia Dare? Oh please do, it's the wine America calls for!

Truth or Virginia Dare
The Accidental Wine Expert
A Zesty After-Dinner Plot

4 comments:

vanilla said...

"Why doesn't he meet some folks who don't snipe about his beverage choices and, oh I don't know, like him for just being Bill - a swell guy."

You have outdone yourself, Lidian. This is a fantastic piece!

Cari Hislop said...

I think Virginia spent too much time sampling her product!

I love this: "...grapes cultivated especially for distinctive, rare qualities..."

Yes, because these grapes are grown in special dirt the qualities of these grapes are so rare and distinct that she can sell her wine dirt cheap!

Love it.

Lidian said...

vanilla - Thank you so much! These ads are quite inspiring, really ;)

Cari - That special dirt makes all the difference...

BrSpiritus said...

Another vintage gem unearthed by you Lidian, I asked dad about this be never encountered this wine in his younger days.

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