Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Cooking With Jughead

Vintage Ad Browser
This 1970s Spam ad was inspired, no doubt, by Jughead. Also by Shaggy and Scooby Doo. All of whom are afficianados of enormous, comical sandwich towers with fillings so unsettling only a slightly weird cartoon character would attempt eating them.

So look. Look what you can do with one can of Spam. Yes, one thing you might like to do is to simply throw it away. Yes. But how could you, when you could make this enchanting tower of  - ingredients. Just add some bread and you'll have also cleaned out your entire refrigerator. Multi-tasking at its finest, that's what this is.

Do not even bother to chop up that whole green onion. Just stick it in between two slices of Wonder Bread. Let everyone wonder why you did it. Maybe you were making an artistic statement. Maybe you hate chopping things. Let them stew over that. Oh, speaking of which. Don't forget that stew from last week - there's some pumpernickel over there that looks a bit - unadorned.*

S is for Sandwich!
And those baked beans that have been looking lonely at the back of the fridge? Pour them out of their isolation-chamber Tupperware right onto a sliced roll. The slices of Spam will keep them company. Keep going until all your stale bread has been transformed into edible girders and joists, between which you have inserted indestructable slices of Spam.

When you're done, stack all the sandwiches of strangeness into one big Leaning Tower. Well, it'll be leaning soon, I don't trust that green onion and neither should you. Then go outside and wait for the Mystery Machine to show up. Let's hope they remembered to stop by the Chocklit Shoppe to pick up Jughead.

* Actually they did not suggest putting stew on the pumpernickel in this ad. But they veer dangerously close to that sort of thing.

5 comments:

BrSpiritus said...

I love how they just shove an entire green onion into the sandwich, well at least they had the courtesy of cutting off the roots first. Baked bean sandwiches were a product of the Depression years. I remember my grandfather eating them with raw onion when I was kid. I guess he was fueling up for when the grandkids came over so he could do the pull my finger routine. No wonder that house had alot of elephants running under chairs.

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Eric said...

This is like some horrible 'Iron Chef' contest gone awry.

Gregorian said...

There's alot to be said for sticking random leftovers from the fridge between whatever bread is available, and then toasting it all in the George Foreman Grill.

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Jennifer said...

My son and I have been reading a book with a drawing of Frankenstein with this *huge* sandwich in front of him (rivaling the size of the spamwich here). We've had many discussions about how it would be difficult to bite into as well as how disgusting it is. I think this one is worse.