Tuesday, November 29, 2011
How Green Was My Daddy
What is it with green peas and retro ads? You may remember the exciting Canned Pea Carnival awhile back. And green peas do tend to settle around and surround unsuspecting retro gelatin molds in the most disturbing way. But now we've moved into dysfunctional family territory and I just don't know where to begin.
In this distressingly perky ad, that weirdo, the Jolly Green Giant, is the "big green daddy" of the frozen peas. He is even pushing them around in a stroller made out of a peapod. He has put some of his progeny into a large can with his picture on the front, too. This is not good parenting.
Also: he is a giant. They are vegetables. Did he adopt the peas? Did he give birth to the peas? Or did the Jolly Green Giantess do that?
Where is she, by the way - we never see her. Maybe she couldn't take it any more and left. I can understand it. She must have been sick of his obsession with cans - and vegetables. He never talked to her. Never mentioned her in all his ads. He's famous and she's - what? He pays more attention to random little green peas.
But here's the main thing: what kind of daddy lets his offspring be processed by Birdseye and get eaten? Those folks who love his "sweet green babies" aren't just peeking in the carriage and chucking the peas under their green non-existent chins and saying "boy, they look - just like you...kind of..."
No, they are eating his babies. With strange "taters" that look more like bananas than potatoes. I wouldn't be surprised if they really were bananas. Just like the admen who thought this one up back in 1960.