Saturday, January 21, 2012

The Hidden Glasses Mystery

Bigger version here
I love a good mystery almost as much as I love Virginia Dare wine ads, so let's all put on our deerstalker hats, take up our magnifying glasses and solve the 1941 Mystery of the Hidden Glasses!

The story begins with a dejected couple who have just hosted a party. A terrible party, it seems. Was it Bob's excessive use of Brylcreem that upset the guests? Or perhaps Peggy's black pencilled parentheses eyebrows upset them. But wait. Here's a clue: the half-full glasses on the mantelpiece. And behind the potted palms. And under the coffee table:

Look, Peggy, our guests left their glasses still full and hid them! What a flop our party was.

I'm so embarrassed I could cry but friend Alice was here...she'll tell me the trouble.

Yes, Friend Alice will tell it to you straight. So put on your best miniature sombrero and let Alice introduce you to her little friend named....Virginia Dare. Who has been hiding in Alice's liquor cabinet all this time holding a little tray of booze! Yes, it's 10am but why not, have a snort, Peggy. It's "grand-tasting" all right. Also smooth. And "it's so different" that it will make your party "an instant hit."

You know what's coming, don't you, in Act 3? Of course you do, Scooby Doo. Everyone comes to Peggy's next party - armed with full hip flasks and thermos bottles - but wow, they certainly love Virginia Dare wine, "America's Great Social Drink." Yum yum. And it's so cheap, too. "What a help to our budget," cheapskate Peggy says - not too loudly, one hopes. But I don't think anyone is listening.

I just wish that this all ended with Virginia Dare being revealed to be Old Man Muggins, hardened jewel thief on the run, in a devious rubber mask and some bedsheets. And then Scooby and Shaggy could go make enormous sandwiches out of what Peggy's got in the fridge. Although she's probably just got a lot of Spam in there. Don't worry, guys - maybe Virginia has the good cold cuts hidden on another tray in her cabinet.

Want some more Virginia Dare? Of course you do, it is so smooth and delicious. And cheap. Here you go:

Bill and the Magic Bottle
A Zesty After-Dinner Plot
The Accidental Wine Expert
Truth or Virginia Dare

6 comments:

Kath Lockett said...

'America's call for wine'. Clearly it was an urgent call, if left over glasses me that Peggy was 'so embarrassed I could cry.'

I love these ads with advice given by wise friends 'the crowd's gone wild' - I'm not sure I want that kind of reaction at any of my dinner parties!

Marcheline said...

This is why we call them the "good old days"... I wish the worst thing that made me want to cry is people NOT drinking my booze!

Honestly, though, after all these great ads, it's got me wondering what the heck Virginia Dare wine really tasted like. Was it super sweet like grocery store wine? Was it spiked with some drug they've since banned?

Another mystery to solve...

Marcheline said...

Ah HAH! I found it!

According to a North Carolina historic website:

"North Carolina provided the United States with its most purchased wine during the early 1900s and before Prohibition: Virginia Dare red and white wines. The product’s popularity rested in great part because winemaker Paul Garrett led an innovative and aggressive advertising campaign.

Although Virginia Dare wine was a grape blend, each variety contained the scuppernong grape—a muscadine grape that has been North Carolina’s state fruit since 2001. The wine was noted for its sweet taste and was used commonly as a dessert wine."


Those scuppernong grapes ARE delicious, and adding their juice to sweeten a wine would actually make it palatable to everyone. YUMMY!

DearHelenHartman said...

If friend Alice could really be trusted to tell the truth then why didn't she tell her not to ever wear that hat? Frankly if Alice looked at me and made that gesture, I'd run. Love the ad and your sense of humor.

yinzerella said...

Virginia Dare now makes "masking flavors" which just sounds dubious.

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