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This is how you too can be "prouder than a peacock" at your next Lawn Fete:
First, put on your fanciest pink hat. And make sure your dress has a floppy white collar that can pinch-hit as a napkin (make sure Mrs. Bradley isn't looking when you use it to wipe your mouth).
After you've done that, go get a big jar of Hellmann's mayonnaise from the pantry. Yes, if you are the wife of a lowly bank clerk, and you want Madame Bank President to notice you, make sure you serve a startling combo of mayo and fruit.
Yes, people who can afford to have Cook make them aîoli from scratch every night are going to be totally amazed when you present your Melon Shell Salad - that would be some cut up fruit in a hollowed-out cantaloupe rind - and douse it with Hellmann's.Just add some fruit juice to it and call it - are you ready? - Fruit Juice Mayonnaise.
Hot Dan's mustard in your lemon meringue pie.
Finally, don't forget to drop in on Mrs. Bradley the next day and present her with her very own jar of Hellmann's. Yes, she will be really pleased to see you again. It will make your day when she finally rouses herself to say, as she nudges you ever closer to the back door, "I'm so glad to have Cook see it." Why, before you know it you'll be hob-nobbing with the Bradleys and your husband will become the Vice President of the bank.
Or else you and Cook will get to be friends as you do Mrs. B's grocery shopping together. One or the other.