Wednesday, January 4, 2012

My Life Saver Friend

This is why you should always carry a pack of Life Savers wherever you go. Because maybe someday you'll be sitting on a plane and a Cute Person is sitting across the aisle whining to the steward/stewardess that their mouth is dry and they need a drink, stat! Because "these champagne farewells" leave your mouth so very dry, darling.

The girl in this late 1930s ad actually says this. Look at me, I'm a fancy starlet with wealthy friends. What a show-off.

But Life Saver dude is very impressed and offers her an attractively-named Molas-O-Mint (and he'd better be quick about it because they weren't on the market for very long*). Yum, molasses! That'll dry up your mouth some more. Because those molasses hellos are even worse than champagne farewells.

But naturally this impresses Miss Starlet and she ends up introducing the pink-cheeked Not-F.-Scott-Fitzgerald to "about half the people in Hollywood." The half who who make cheap costume dramas and then swill champagne, seemingly.

And guess how she introduces him. Not as Biff Gatsby** or whatever his name is but as "my Life Saver friend." And then supposedly she writes him a note about how amazing molasses and mint Life Savers are. As if this would ever really happen. I think maybe Biff did a little creative writing there, fueled by the strange power of molasses and mint affecting his brain.

*See Wikipedia here: Molas-o-Mint Life Savers were made in the late 30s to early 40s. Oh, and it says here that they were only available specifically between 1936 and 1942. If you even care, I mean.

**That would be The Great Gatsby's cousin from Tulsa (which is where the Life Saver guy says he's from while he's reading the letter).

Note: this ad was on LiveJournal, and then PhotoBucket took it away, and I managed to find it again, but it is not the best quality. Hope this works. And sorry 'bout that!


Kath Lockett said...

Crikey - who knew that a candy with a hole in it was the way to Hollywood and not sexual favours on sofas? :)

"Yes, Mr Spielberg, I've brough the Molas-O-Mints"

Mike said...

Molas-O-Mint just sounds...unappetizing. I am not a great fan of molasses, though I do love mint. I'd think the flavor of the molasses would overpower the mint and not taste good.