Wednesday, April 25, 2012

The Venus-Adonis Electric Normalizer

1950 ad from Vintage Ad Browser
How can you not love a name like the Venus-Adonis Electric Normalizer? It's the name with everything: the promise of mythological beauty (male and female), the modern science of electricity - and also the promise of being able to normalize your body with a contraption that looks like a hairdryer from Mars.

OK, but wait a minute. What's this about having to normalize your body? Are they saying we are not normal? Well, sort of. We will be re-vitalizing and streamlining ourselves when we roll the Electric Normalizer over various body parts.

Oh good! Then that means it magically exercises the muscles and reduces fat?

Uh, no. Not really. It does claim to be able to "slim trim hips, small waist, flat abdomen, shapely legs, a streamlined figure and physical well-being." How? banishing "that tense, tired feeling" and decreasing swelling in your feet. Oh. OK. That makes sense....No, it doesn't. But if you want to know more - or just want to complain about ambiguous, shifty-sounding ads, you can write to Venus-Adonis in Louisville, Kentucky (no post office boxes up on Mount Olympus, I guess).


yinzerella said...

I am sure that after a night with one of these you would feel revitalized.

Did you ever see that episode of Mad Men when Peggy is trying to write the copy for a product like this?

Marcheline said...

Yes, yes... Peggy had it right! They're missing the most important drawing, showing where this little machine really does the most good! Heh heh heh....