Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Free of Fuzzy Tongue
Wife: Why, Ben! Are you making faces at me? Or are you just choking with rage?
Husband: Silence, woman! My tongue is just fine! I've been paying our bills and licking envelopes - fifteen of 'em!
Wife: Just calm yourself, angel, and see what your wife has discovered. These wonderful new envelopes seal themselves!
Ben's wife has to show him - in some detail, it seems - just how the Self-Seal envelopes work. Then maybe he will stop making horrible faces. That is another benefit of the Self-Seal envelopes that this 1940 ad does not mention, but it is significant.
Unfortunately, the new envelopes will not cure him of saying things like "Silence, woman!" And that kind of invalidates the title, because Ben's wife is not free of Fuzzy Tongue at all - he'll be bellowing and making faces no matter what kind of stationery he's using.