Wednesday, May 9, 2012

A Kick Out of Bromo-Seltzer

My head is as bad as an old exhaust manifold
and doing anything like lyric writing
leaves me totally cold
The only exception I know is in slo-mo
when I'm looking for aspirin and Coke
or to give my aching head a ice water soak
then suddenly I see, strange as a misinterpretation of a joke
you fabulous Seltzer of Bromo.

I get no kick from champagne
Mere headache powders simply will not do
So tell me why a remedy
for stomach troubles works like double indemnity
Why, Bromo, I haven't a clue.

Some get relief from a rest
A good night's sleep would be best
When all one's selves are looking glum
But I get relief from Bromo Seltzer in my tum

I get a kick from an ad with three other Coles
Making faces and hamming it up in lame supporting roles
And also from cracking wise
to ladies in expensive stoles

I get no kick from an early night
From relaxation
as opposed to serious limelight
That's just something I don't want to do
So just stick some Bromo Seltzer in the oyster stew
And I'll get a kick out of my head
and my stomach too

[Not a line by line, exact parody of Cole Porter's "I Get A Kick Out of You," but something, anyway. Working on The Novel again, and wrestling with two of the main characters. Not literally, but you know what I mean. No headaches or anything, but maybe I should get in a bottle of Bromo Seltzer just in case. If it's good enough for that grimacing chorus line of Cole Porters, etc. ]


Marcheline said...

I love the "line-o-Coles", transitioning from miserable headache face to I'm writing a song face! HAHAHA!

Lidian said...

Marcheline - Yeah, that is the best part of this one, the chorus line of headache-y Coles!

veg-o-matic said...

The "Line-o-Coles" is the creepiest thing I've ever seen. Creepier than clowns, even.