Saturday, July 21, 2012

Ripple Waves and Gland Exhaustion

Kemt Lustre Spray is not a hairspray. It is much, much more than that. You need this stuff because "modern living robs your hair of its natural health and lustre" and it is "exhausted." Hair: it's just like the rest of us!

The other problem your hair is having is that your glands are exhausted,too. It says so at the bottom of the ad, that's how we know this. Which glands? Um, not sure. But they are tired. And they're really upsetting your hair. But happily, spraying this stuff on your head will make your hair perkier than you are after a week at a spa and ten espressos.

Kemt wasn't a deep conditioner or anything. It was sort of a combination hairspray/hair color, which is an idea you don't run across every day. Kemt was a "fine fragrant liquid" with color in it (Blonde, Brunette, Auburn or Silver, so true redheads are out of luck) that turns your hair "into the perfect material for modelling into an elegant new hairstyle." Try not to think about how the phrase "material for modelling" instantly makes you think of clay. Just enjoy making Ripple Waves all over your head. And if your mouth disappears like the Ripple Wave Lady's, don't worry. Kemt was probably working on a spray for that, too.*

I've written about Kemt and their magical mists and sprays a few times already - that happens when you've been at this retro ad thing for as long as I have.

Un-Kemt and Mist-ified
Mabel and Kemt

*No, they weren't.

This is an ad from my very own copy of a 1940 Woman's Weekly, a British women's magazine. Yes, for once, it's actually from my own little collection of retro magazines. I found it in a weird secondhand bookstore that had all sorts of clutter down in the basement - things flung into bookcases, piles of magazines on the floor. There was a closet with the door half open, with some brooms and more magazines piled in the doorway. The lighting was indifferent. And 90% of the stuff down there was awful. But that's where I found several vintage NYC guidebooks from the 1940s, and this magazine. It had no cover and was lying on the floor very sadly, but as soon as I saw the ads I knew I had to rescue it and scan it.

Some of the pages are slightly torn and make the people in the ads look like they have strangely placed warts and things, but this page looks pretty good.

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