Thursday, July 12, 2012

Somewhere Under the Rainbow

 Vintage and Retro Food (Pinterest)
This one is from No Pattern Required at Pinterest (and by the way, I'd love it if you joined me there too!) - and it haunts my dreams.

Is it a cake pretending to be a sandwich? Is it a sandwich disguised as a cake? Or perhaps (and I think this is a bit closer to the truth) is it a horrifying hybrid? This is what birthday cakes must be like in the First Circle of Hell.

There's no pot of gold at the end of this particular rainbow. There may be a pot of mayonnaise, though. Or cream cheese. And it's mixed with Good Luck Margarine to make it extra gloppy.

This misleading layer cake thing comes from the overheated imaginations at work in the Jelke Good Luck Margarine Party Book, circa 1931. Remember them? Thank goodness for Good Luck. It helps parents settle their differences about what to put on their little darlings' bread. And now they are helping us give the best parties, too.

This ad from the Binghamton Press (Sept. 24, 1931) urges us to "try this Smart New Rainbow Sandwich Loaf."  By squinting at the enlarged version, I see that we are supposed to take a round "rye or potato bread" and take off the crusts, then cut it into 3 or 4 layers. Next you must slather each layer with plenty of Good Luck. Then slap on fillings - the Jelke folks suggest:

Pink Layer: chopped ham and mayo
Yellow Layer: egg yolks mixed with Good Luck (eww)
Green Layer: chopped pickle and parsley with mayo
Orange Layer: chopped pimentos and green pepper with cream cheese and mayo

Well, I may not remember anything else from elementary school (except the fiasco in first grade involving sewing a felt bunny rabbit) but even I know that a rainbow's colors are ROY G BIV - Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo and Violet. I think some layers are missing! I suggest*:

Blue Layer:  blueberries, blue food coloring, cream cheese, mayo and Good Luck Margarine
Indigo Layer: blackberries, cream cheese, mayo and Good Luck Margarine
Violet Layer: grape juice mixed with chopped plums, beets (and cream cheese, mayo and Good Luck Margarine)

The frosting is "half-and-half GOOD LUCK [in caps so you don't forget] and cream cheese." And decorate the whole sorry thing with strips of pimento and slices of olive. We are supposed to serve this thing with the Rainbow Cookies that are down at the bottom of the page. Because that will be cute and cunning and make us all the Top Party Hostesses of 1931. Or something.

*I am kidding, of course.


DearHelenHartman said...

I am in awe and also a bit frightened by the ingenuity and outright gall of the Good Luck Margarine folks! I'm sharing dreadful delights from vintage cookbooks today myself. I WISH I had had THAT, um, delicacy to include in the mess, um, buffet.

Lidian said...

Looking forward to those dreadful delights, Helen! You are one of my fave reads, always :)

A Mom said...

nice contents! keep it up! have a great day.

Marcheline said...

Jeebus save us.

Amanda said...

After reading the post above about sherbet coolers, I just about lost my breakfast after reading this one. While definitely imaginative, the thought of eating this makes me quite ill. Why, oh why, was this "feast" ever imagined?