Thursday, August 9, 2012

The Sisterhood of the Gossiping Pants

LiveJournal Vintage Ads
You know how gossip is extra upsetting when it's coming from someone you thought was a good friend of yours? Yeah, well, supposing it was coming from your underpants.

Poor Dot. She really must be the soundest sleeper ever, not to hear the underwear shouting insulting remarks as they lounge on the bed. Seriously, if  your dirty clothes were holding a confab at the end of the bed, don't you think you'd hear them?

Or better still, wouldn't you have put them in the hamper? That's where Dot should have put them all. And slammed the lid shut, too. Well, why aren't they in there? Why isn't she washing them, anyway? Ugh. I don't even want to know. This ad is a strange combination of enigmatic weirdness and TMI.

Maybe if you use a big dollop of Lux in the next load of wash, it will shut them up. Probably not. There'll be something else they don't like about you. The runs you're always getting in your stockings. The way you laugh at jokes they think are really corny. And those skirts you wear - oh, they are going to tell everyone what cheap fabric they're made out of. Yes, they are.

With underwear like this, who needs enemies?


Anonymous said...

My undies once told me to get a job

Karen said...

Oh my goodness! That is so funny!

Marcheline said...

Definitely on the gross side of hysterically funny. The real problem is that back then they wore too many damn pieces of underwear! A bra AND panties AND a garter AND a slip AND... the list is endless! No wonder girls were sweating bullets. It was a workout just getting dressed!

Mae West NYC said...

Well, if it's a choice between overhearing my underwear whisper insulting comments or overhearing my neighbors yakkk-itt-ing about me, let my garter-belts have all the fun, Lidian. Darling, meet me at LaPerla. We'll get new bras and then we'll have lunch!!