Tuesday, October 23, 2012

A Retro Grocery Poetry Slam

So you're in the grocery store, pushing the cart with the wobbly wheels, trying to find everything on your list, and if you're like me, really wishing you were somewhere else (preferably a beach resort) - and you suddenly realize that you really, really need a break (preferably any sort of resort).

And that is because the items on the shelves are starting to talk to you. In verse. Yup, everybody's a poet in the produce section. Especially the produce. And they're beyond economy size - they are giants. With little Noddy-esque heads and little waving hands. And spindly legs wearing elf boots. Why are they wearing elf boots?

The frozen peas lean forward. The 1941 Grocery Poetry Slam begins with an ominous couplet:

Lady, end your hurry-scurry
We'll help solve your menu-worry!

Ah, but it isn't the menu I'm going to be worrying about if I hear an enormous package of frozen peas beg me to let him and his friends come home with me and "help" with dinner.

Eventually they all chime in. This is the creative effort from a package of egg noodles that thinks it's pasta's answer to Henry Wadsworth Longfellow:

Our flavor's safe, we're clean and handy
Appetites will find us dandy!

Dandy  isn't the word that will spring to mind when you see these cellophane-wrapped supermarket monsters - look how much bigger they are than the people. And flavor safety isn't something I'd worry about, either. Mind you, those little people don't seem one bit fazed. I don't know why. I do know I won't be shopping wherever that is, though.

1 comment:

Marcheline said...

Egads... and the ad is by DuPont... isn't that the PAINT company??? Sure, the flavor's "safe".