Friday, November 2, 2012

You're So Vano

Oh dear. Grimy woodwork. Greasy walls (greasy? what has everyone been up to?). And worst of all, dirty blinds. Well, wait - don't start cleaning yet. First thing you should do is put on your favorite striped blouse, and do your hair and makeup. Then sit down, put your hand on your chin, and make some faces. That'll help.

Oh, I'm kidding of course. What you really ought to do is hurry down to the store and buy yourself some Vano. No, not Drano (though I guess you might as well get some of that too, heaven knows what the bathroom looks like). Vano. As in the phrase "you will not be cleaning in Vano!"

I found a very chatty newspaper ad from 1953 that extols the wonders of Vano and its ability to cut "gummy, greasy dirt" (gummy? no one said a thing about gummy). It "cleans instantly - dries instantly!" Basically it is hard to get the stuff on fast enough, that's how fast it works. You barely even see it on the greasy, grimy, gummy surface. It's there and then it's gone! Ideally, taking the grease, grime and gum with it. In the 1953 ad it is claimed that "8 out of 10 praised new Instant Vano" - OK, I want to know what the other two thought about it. I really do. It's always, always 8 out of 10 people who love a new product, isn't it? What happened to the 2 out of 10 who hated it?

But further down the page (it is here if you want to see, it is a really big, long ad) they say 7 out of 10 people said Vano was "faster, easier, better" - so wait a minute. There must be one person who praised Vano but didn't think it was easier, faster or better....right? Now there's someone I want to hear from! Want to bet it's the gal in the ad? That would explain the grumpy confusion on her face.

....And speaking of grumpy confusion - this is the look that will be haunting my face much of November (though I am not wearing a striped blouse or a faceful of makeup) - because, yes, it is NaNoWriMo time and I am jumping in yet again. last year I only lasted a few days (I have finished it in previous years, though). I will be updating my blogs (in no particular order) though, because retro holiday ads are so much fun. Plus if I don't write here in my NaNo breaks, I might have to go clean the blinds.

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