Saturday, March 15, 2014
Outdoor Romances, Wrecked Indoors
I've always liked retro ads with disembodied heads in them. I don't know why, really. I even have a Pinterest board devoted to them (speaking of which, if you're on Pinterest and we're not already following each other, please let me know!). This one's from 1937 and it stars the Dear Abby of disembodied heads. Apparently she also runs a summer resort. I don't know how. I mean, she's a disembodied head! How does she check people in? How does she write up the bills? I guess she has a large staff.
Smirking faintly, she has come here to tell us why so many of us girls ruin our chances with leading men with patent leather hair and guyliner. Also the grabby guy in the middle. He's got the same B.O. But mostly it's the girls. And the DH knows because she spends her days floating around the resort, snooping and spying on couples. And here's the thing! When they're out in the fresh air, everything's copacetic. But get in an enclosed space and wham bam no thank you ma'am. This amuses the Head. She's seen it all and smelled it all, too, from the look on her face.
She needs to tell the staff to scatter Lifebuoys all around everyone's rooms. Put them everywhere. And maybe stop floating around the resort frightening everyone. That's enough to make anyone break out in a cold, romance-stopping sweat.